While I'm never that keen to make any comparisons between me and the Hoff (I like to keep my hamburger in my mouth and off You Tube), we do have something in common.
When I first arrived in small town, I promptly went to the tourist and information office to find out the bus, train and ferry timetables. After the lady behind the counter stopped laughing at me she shuffled away, spent a considerable amount of time eyeballing the largely empty information brochure racks, blew the dust off a few and handed them over to me, but not before highlighting the relevant bus that I could catch. Not as in the bus route number but the ONE bus that I could catch to take me within orienteering distance of the office. Only during the day on a weekday mind, apparently the public are in bed asleep by 6pm every night and don't need transport on the weekend in small town.
And because I'm still enslaved to the CCC (credit card company), I'm happy to work any and all hours that I can get, so generally I get given Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. Which is fine except it means that I have to get home somehow at the end of the night. Taxis are out because I refuse to work an hour to pay to sit in the back of a stranger's car for all of 5 minutes, bus/ train/ ferry HAHAHAHA no, most of the time I am lucky enough to hitch a ride with some lovely generous people, but occasionally I have to go all David Hasselhoff circa 1984.
Gone is the leisurely work cycle commute of yore along the Regents canal on a frosty winter's morn, wearing a beret and high heels with flowers in Diana Ross's basket, now I am a proper hardcore night rider.
At times it's poetic - the road is my own with a full moon guiding me home. But mostly it's utterly terrifying. Firstly, work is located on the beachfront with a nice big carpark out the front, the perfect place for the local yoof to drink, smoke, pash and hoon around in at night. And point and laugh at a hospo uniformed, stackhat wearing non yoof. Then right at the very end, after I have negotiated the boozers, the broken glass and the bike light battery fails I have to traverse Marsupial Gauntlet... an intense fear-filled 10 metre/ 1.5 second journey through unlit kangaroo infested bush. Look, I'm all for saving the forests and protecting wildlife and all that, but if I had my way I would flatten it and have floodlights installed quicker than you can say Greenpeace 4 WWF 4 EVA.
Where is KITT when you need him?
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